In a family where one or both of the parents function in a toxic pattern, the different family members often adopt certain set roles. Although the patterns can shift around a bit, there is usually a default setting. In this podcast Stephen Bach and Monkey will talk about some of these roles, how to identify them and what impact they have on the dynamic in a toxic family.
In my specific experience I’d replace control with NEGLECT. PERFECTIONISM, BLAME, DENIAL, NO TALK RULE and INCOMPLETION definitely apply to me. Over the years UNRELIABILITY has manifested itself in that I could never foresee where and how my actions or words would trigger the next mega-drama in my family. Finally, MYTH-MAKING is what the rest of them do to convince themselves that they actually believe in family values. NinaO.
The narcissistic family tree. In healthy families, we encourage our children to be loving & close to each other. In narcissistic families, children are pitted against each other & taught competition. There is a constant comparison of who is doing better & who is not. Some children are favored or seen as the golden child & others become the scape-goat for the parents projected negative feelings. Siblings in narcissistic families rarely grow up feeling emotionally connected to each other.