i'm just so scared to touch happiness only to have it taken away again maybe that is why i push everyone away and maybe thats why i'm so guarded but i don't think i can ever touch it without love and i don't know how to love not at all:
I struggled with this in my current relationship for so long. It's hard to explain to someone, that it's hard to leave a familiar pain for a potential new pain... I already knew how to deal with pain from one person. I couldn't do that again with another.