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47 Things Every Self-Respecting Man Should Own

47 Things Every Self-Respecting Man Should Own

Soap for White Guys | ''Remember back when you were the shiznit?  Just ask anyone who’s ever seen Mad Men: white guys used to rule. That’s why we’ve delicately scented this Soap for White Guys with old money and vanilla fragrances. If you can’t get respect on the street anymore, at least you can reminisce about it in the privacy of your own home. So put on some Frank Sinatra, carefully roll up those sleeves, and lather up!''

Soap for White Guys | ''Remember back when you were the shiznit? Just ask anyone who’s ever seen Mad Men: white guys used to rule. That’s why we’ve delicately scented this Soap for White Guys with old money and vanilla fragrances. If you can’t get respect on the street anymore, at least you can reminisce about it in the privacy of your own home. So put on some Frank Sinatra, carefully roll up those sleeves, and lather up!''

Shrodinger's Rapist | "When you approach me in public, you are Schrödinger’s Rapist. You may or may not be a man who would commit rape. I won’t know for sure unless you start sexually assaulting me. I can’t see inside your head, and I don’t know your intentions. If you expect me to trust you—to accept you at face value as a nice sort of guy—you are not only failing to respect my reasonable caution, you are being cavalier about my personal safety."

Shrodinger's Rapist | "When you approach me in public, you are Schrödinger’s Rapist. You may or may not be a man who would commit rape. I won’t know for sure unless you start sexually assaulting me. I can’t see inside your head, and I don’t know your intentions. If you expect me to trust you—to accept you at face value as a nice sort of guy—you are not only failing to respect my reasonable caution, you are being cavalier about my personal safety."

For the man with the mustache! Dad will love sipping coffee from this Great Mustaches Mug, $12.95

For the man with the mustache! Dad will love sipping coffee from this Great Mustaches Mug, $12.95

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