Actually, I think we both went through EXACTLY who/what we needed to go through to be grateful for one another when we met. I remember him saying he felt like maybe, this was "God's wink" after a lot of disappointments. He was right. I couldn't have imagined I would be able to love someone who also allowed me to be completely myself, independent, do our own things...but be one unit. :)
If he does not claim you, he does not want you. Either he doesn't want you or he does not have what it takes to claim you. If a man is tentative about it then he is not the man for you. Now, we often do not consider seriously enough the matters of the heart. A call to love to another human being is a very sacred experience. The heart of a human being is to be held in a holy space, and if we treat it as such, there will be far less pain involved.