You must stop punishing yourself for something you cannot change. You must forgive yourself and show and prove to everyone including yourself that you are a better person. It's the only way to be free.
#RT http://www.amazon.com/Let-Sunshine-Change-Thoughts-Brighten-ebook/dp/B00TBSQ0JM your life is the way it is because of your choices. i don't really believe in "meant to be". i think that if you want something enough, then you go for it. its your choice whether you wait or not. be careful you don't let laziness or fear make your decisions for you. you could miss out on something amazing.