Get strong! Be real & for gods sake stop all your lies & trying to be in our lives!! Your days of being anything at all to us ( especially him) is over! Move on! Get a hobby, a real job, an education & your OWN man!!
Narcissists Lie - "Your not trusting the narcissist will be turned around to paint the picture of YOU being insecure. You will be accused of being “jealous” / insecure / damaged / broken. All things you’re not – but things the narcissist is. You will begin to believe that you are insecure for not trusting them. You in turn, stop trusting yourself and your own perceptions and rely on someone who is lying to you."
Everything is energy and that's all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This not philosophy. This is physics. ~Albert Einstien