Supreme Court Majority Calls Case a Dispute Between Women and People
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—By a 5–4 vote on Monday, the United States Supreme Court settled a dispute that Justice Samuel Alito said was “at its core about the rights of women versus the rights of people.” --- Because women are not people, apparently. Assholes.
Samuel Alito Rolls Eyes While Ruth Bader Ginsburg Reads Dissent
Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito broke from the high court's usual decorum on Monday morning, rolling his eyes and shaking his head as his senior colleague, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, read her dissents in two cases.
Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito suggested U.S. News & World Report’s law school rankings are a money-making gimmick. “[They're] an abomination,” he added. “The legal profession and the country would be better off if they were eliminated. I gather that all these rankings are one of these things that keeps USNWR in the black..." Alito is not the first SCOTUS justice to attack law school rankings or to express a willingness to hire clerks who didn’t go to Ivys.