I tried to reach out, to offer friendship, which I don't do, as I've been burned so often. People just don't want to know, and it fucking hurts, so I just give up.

I tried to reach out, to offer friendship, which I don't do, as I've been burned so often. People just don't want to know, and it fucking hurts, so I just give up.

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Today is such a day for me.The battle that I have been waging with the demons that my abusers planted in me, and let flower for so long, is wearing me down. Here I am, the one who wants to serve as the  beacon of hope amidst the hell hole we know as child sexual abuse, faltering. Finding it hard to take another breath without searing pain in my chest. This road to healing is so hard and so long. Please know that faltering is part of the package. And I do, only what I can and that is to go…

Today is such a day for me.The battle that I have been waging with the demons that my abusers planted in me, and let flower for so long, is wearing me down. Here I am, the one who wants to serve as the beacon of hope amidst the hell hole we know as child sexual abuse, faltering. Finding it hard to take another breath without searing pain in my chest. This road to healing is so hard and so long. Please know that faltering is part of the package. And I do, only what I can and that is to go…

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So we're back here, Occasional pen pals? Where do I really stand with you? Where do I fit into your life, in your world? Lines have already been crossed. What happens if you're asked to give up our friendship? I won't be left twice. And I wont settle for something that is not ideal for me. And this is why I mourn you.-DCR

So we're back here, Occasional pen pals? Where do I really stand with you? Where do I fit into your life, in your world? Lines have already been crossed. What happens if you're asked to give up our friendship? I won't be left twice. And I wont settle for something that is not ideal for me. And this is why I mourn you.-DCR

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"Giving up" isn't always the bad thing it's made out to be. Sometimes when you stop putting your energy into something, you free yourself to focus more deeply on something else.

"Giving up" isn't always the bad thing it's made out to be. Sometimes when you stop putting your energy into something, you free yourself to focus more deeply on something else.

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I still don't know if I'm ready to give up my safety blanket. But I've reached the last house on the block. Again.
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