And today I realized that I am the biggest hypocrite of them all. I tell everyone to keep holding on, that there is light at the end. That everything gets better as long as you continue to wait. I always tell people to have hope. That they need to keep trying because it is too early to give up, that they have so much to live for. Then there is me, and I am barely holding on.
This is exactly why I'm terrified to open up to people. What if they don't care about me as much as I thought they did? This happened to me with a friend, actually a "best friend" =P anyway, once I get a boyfriend and we get serious or whatever he's going to HAVE to show me exactly how much he cares about me before I feel confident enough to open up to him
Right now I'm just fricking depressed, but all of last week, I just felt empty. Not sad, but hollow. Like I had nothing. Like there was nothing inside me. Like she had taken a knife and chiseled out my soul.