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carpe natem ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) seizing the ass is what I do for a living my firends<<<

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Plz don't go big for me unless you're telling me we're moving to Ireland

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Clueless Dude Tries To Buy Make-Up For His Girlfriend, It Didn't End Well

Clueless Dude Tries To Buy Make-Up For His Girlfriend, It Didn't End Well

THIS REMINDS ME OF WHEN I HAD TO BUY MAKEUP FOR MY MOM. I don't wear makeup very often, but I had to bring some home for my mom. The lady at the counter looked at me like I was a defective girl that forgot how to be a girl.

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WILL HERONDALE MY BAE. It's especially true when they're sassy/sarcastic.

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I bet my girlfriend that she couldn't eat an entire pizza by herself and if she could I'd take her out for a day. She looked at me and said "I was single for six years. I've had practice."Then she won

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Its like that story where a brother and a sister were both homosexuals but their parents didnt know and were homophobes so they pretended to date the boyfriend/girlfriend of the other so that at night the parents would make the two girls sleep together and the two boys too

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speech 1
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