Funny Whispers

Funny confessions, thoughts and quotes found on Whisper


Funny Whispers

  • 584 Pins

My dad keeps placing this round the house...

My dad keeps placing this round the house...

whisper.sh

"My personal style is best described as "didn't expect to get out of the car.""

My personal style is best described as "didn't expect to get out of the car."

whisper.sh

"If the love doesn't feel like 90's R&B, I don't want it."

If the love doesn't feel like 90's R&B, I don't want it.

whisper.sh

The only color skin I discriminate against is that strange orange color that comes from self-tan creams.

Pinned from
whisper.sh

UK: We call it autumn from the Latin word autumnus US: WE CALL IT FALL BECAUSE LEAVES FALL DOWN

Pinned from
whisper.sh

I found a jacket in my wardrobe today from 2005, in it there was a Nokia 3310..It still has two bars of battery left.

I found a jacket in my wardrobe today from 2005, in it there was a Nokia 3310..It still has two bars of battery left.

whisper.sh

This could be us.... But I don't share food

Pinned from
whisper.sh

Anxiety: ok, but what if- Me: dude, we went over this already 100 times Anxiety: I know but hear me out. I've found 20 new reasons you should be worried Me: ...go on

Anxiety: ok, but what if- Me: dude, we went over this already 100 times Anxiety: I know but hear me out. I've found 20 new reasons you should be worried Me: ...go on

whisper.sh

I have abs. They're just so amazing that I covered them with a thick layer of fat for protection.

I have abs. They're just so amazing that I covered them with a thick layer of fat for protection.

whisper.sh

"When someone asks you what you want for your birthday and you're like 'not $ure ju$t $urpri$e me""

When someone asks you what you want for your birthday and you're like 'not $ure ju$t $urpri$e me"

whisper.sh

"why is it that all my money goes to food and clothes but I'm sitting here hungry trying to choose from the same four tops I always wear"

Pinned from
whisper.sh

if she doesn't know who loves orange soda, she's too young for you.

Pinned from
whisper.sh

So..this exists Can I move to a different planet please?

Pinned from
whisper.sh

"I'm on the diet where you still eat whatever you want but just constantly talk about needing to get in shape."

I'm on the diet where you still eat whatever you want but just constantly talk about needing to get in shape.

whisper.sh

I just burned 2000 calories. That's the last time I take a nap while baking brownies.

I just burned 2000 calories. That's the last time I take a nap while baking brownies.

whisper.sh

"Me: *changes the toilet roll* Me: I am the backbone of this household"

404

whisper.sh

My girlfriend: Beautiful ain't she?

My girlfriend: Beautiful ain't she?

whisper.sh

I don't understand why people say hurtful things like 'wanna go for a run' or 'here, try this kale'.

I don't understand why people say hurtful things like 'wanna go for a run' or 'here, try this kale'.

whisper.sh

"My life is 50% wondering if it's too late to drink coffee and 50% wondering if it's too early to drink alcohol..."

My life is 50% wondering if it's too late to drink coffee and 50% wondering if it's too early to drink alcohol...

whisper.sh
  • Soo
    Soo

    But, it's always 11am sumwer in the world!

"At Chipotle I wait for 1st scoop of chicken on my burrito to ask for double chix so size of 1st scoop isn't compromised by knowledge im gettin 2nd scoop & now employee has shown default scoop size so no games w/ my 2nd scoop"

At Chipotle I wait for 1st scoop of chicken on my burrito to ask for double chix so size of 1st scoop isn't compromised by knowledge im gettin 2nd scoop & now employee has shown default scoop size so no games w/ my 2nd scoop

whisper.sh

Heart if you get it ;)

Heart if you get it ;)

whisper.sh

Friend: I got a new job, ran a marathon, got married, cured lupus, and became America's Next Top Model Me: I took a buzzfeed quiz that told me what type of plant I am

Friend: I got a new job, ran a marathon, got married, cured lupus, and became America's Next Top Model Me: I took a buzzfeed quiz that told me what type of plant I am

whisper.sh

*wants to travel the world* *has like 3 dollars*

*wants to travel the world* *has like 3 dollars*

whisper.sh

My 2 year old can work my iPhone but can't find his mouth when eating spaghetti

My 2 year old can work my iPhone but can't find his mouth when eating spaghetti

whisper.sh

What a review 😂

What a review 😂

whisper.sh