Funny Whispers

Funny confessions, thoughts and quotes found on Whisper
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My boyfriend has been hinting at proposing for a while. When he told me he had a surprise in the car I was so excited. It was a cake.

My boyfriend has been hinting at proposing for a while. When he told me he had a surprise in the car I was so excited. It was a cake.

whisper.sh

From the window, to the wall! To my big comfy bed I crawl! Down this big long hall! Ahhh sleep sleep sleep sleep.

From the window, to the wall! To my big comfy bed I crawl! Down this big long hall! Ahhh sleep sleep sleep sleep.

whisper.sh

I was reading something online about making money by just going on date's and listening I sign up for it and then I realized I sign up to be an escort... I'm an idiot

I was reading something online about making money by just going on date's and listening I sign up for it and then I realized I sign up to be an escort... I'm an idiot

whisper.sh

Perks of being a ginger: You don't have to waste your time trying to find your soulmate

Perks of being a ginger: You don't have to waste your time trying to find your soulmate

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Home alone all weekend. Expectation- sneak over bf and have parties Reality-im single and play sims all weekend.

Home alone all weekend. Expectation- sneak over bf and have parties Reality-im single and play sims all weekend.

whisper.sh

My daughter's name is Stacy My husband's name is Jesse I am Stacy's mom & Jesse's girl (If you don't get this, you're too young)

My daughter's name is Stacy My husband's name is Jesse I am Stacy's mom & Jesse's girl (If you don't get this, you're too young)

whisper.sh

If I ever lose my pinky finger, when children ask what happened I’m going to tell them that I broke a promise

If I ever lose my pinky finger, when children ask what happened I’m going to tell them that I broke a promise

whisper.sh

If I've learned anything from this $20 bill controversy it's how many people actually think Ben Franklin was one of our presidents.

If I've learned anything from this $20 bill controversy it's how many people actually think Ben Franklin was one of our presidents.

whisper.sh

My 5 year old son's principal called me in for my son having weed in his back pack... it was kale chips.

My 5 year old son's principal called me in for my son having weed in his back pack... it was kale chips.

whisper.sh

Two of my best friends are getting married this summer, another just got engaged, meanwhile Dean Winchester and I just had our 25th kid in the sims

Two of my best friends are getting married this summer, another just got engaged, meanwhile Dean Winchester and I just had our 25th kid in the sims

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I swear on my chemical romance I'm not emo. If I were I'd be falling in reverse to escape the fate.

I swear on my chemical romance I'm not emo. If I were I'd be falling in reverse to escape the fate.

whisper.sh

My wife is expecting a baby, but I'm hoping for a velociraptor.

My wife is expecting a baby, but I'm hoping for a velociraptor.

whisper.sh

Don't wear headphones while vacuuming... I've just finished the whole house and realised the vacuum wasn't even plugged in

Don't wear headphones while vacuuming... I've just finished the whole house and realised the vacuum wasn't even plugged in

whisper.sh

If you don't have anything nice to say, you are probably a lot of fun to be around.

If you don't have anything nice to say, you are probably a lot of fun to be around.

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Being 5"0 is all fun and games until you need a stool to climb onto the counter to reach the kitchen cupboards.

Being 5"0 is all fun and games until you need a stool to climb onto the counter to reach the kitchen cupboards.

whisper.sh

I'm still single because I didn't forward that chain email to 15 of my friends 5 years ago

I'm still single because I didn't forward that chain email to 15 of my friends 5 years ago

whisper.sh

When I call my boyfriend I mute the call quickly to fart while he's talking. He has no idea

When I call my boyfriend I mute the call quickly to fart while he's talking. He has no idea

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Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster, so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster, so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead

whisper.sh

I'm going to record an audiobook that is 8 hours of breathing and page turning with a surprised, "oh you mean out loud?" right at the end.

I'm going to record an audiobook that is 8 hours of breathing and page turning with a surprised, "oh you mean out loud?" right at the end.

whisper.sh

There should be a weather app for people with social anxieties. "Today, Walmart will be partly crowdy with a 70% chance of people you know"

There should be a weather app for people with social anxieties. "Today, Walmart will be partly crowdy with a 70% chance of people you know"

whisper.sh

I'm currently stuck on a bathroom stall because there's a little girl in the stall next to me singing and I don't want to embarass her by letting her know she's not alone.

I'm currently stuck on a bathroom stall because there's a little girl in the stall next to me singing and I don't want to embarass her by letting her know she's not alone.

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I'm wearing a nice shade under my eyes called "exhaustion"

I'm wearing a nice shade under my eyes called "exhaustion"

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My prince charming is definitely not on a horse, he's either on a damn turtle or stuck somewhere.

My prince charming is definitely not on a horse, he's either on a damn turtle or stuck somewhere.

whisper.sh

I'm so good at yoga I do number 13 all the time

I'm so good at yoga I do number 13 all the time

whisper.sh

I double text, I triple text, I quadruple text, I have shit to say

I double text, I triple text, I quadruple text, I have shit to say

whisper.sh