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Funny Whispers

Funny confessions, thoughts and quotes found on Whisper


Funny Whispers

  • 458 Pins

"my boyfriend doesn't know i put a dollar in an envelope every time he makes me orgasm & that's all I'm spending on him for christmas. so far he's getting a mcflurry"

my boyfriend doesn't know i put a dollar in an envelope every time he makes me orgasm & that's all I'm spending on him for christmas. so far he's getting a mcflurry

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"The guy I like added me on Facebook. It's official. You're all invited to the wedding. "

The guy I like added me on Facebook. It's official. You're all invited to the wedding.

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"[parents aren't home] Expectation: has huge party Reality: brings laptop to the living room instead of hiding in my room"

[parents aren't home] Expectation: has huge party Reality: brings laptop to the living room instead of hiding in my room

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"Me this whole summer hopefully:"

Me this whole summer hopefully:

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"Whoever is controlling me is terrible at this game"

Whoever is controlling me is terrible at this game

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"Bobby started his day with 12 fucks He ended the day with a dozen fucks How many fucks did Bobby give?"

Bobby started his day with 12 fucks He ended the day with a dozen fucks How many fucks did Bobby give?

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"I hate when people start typing while I'm typing..like, I know you see those dotsWait your turn!"

I hate when people start typing while I'm typing..like, I know you see those dots Wait your turn!

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"If you don't get this we can never be friends"

If you don't get this we can never be friends

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"I was so high I forgot the word "dad" so I called him man mom"

I was so high I forgot the word "dad" so I called him man mom

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Share, Express, Meet - Whisper

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"At my funeral I need someone to wear the same outfit I had on when I died burst through the doors and say, "okay, this is where it gets complicated""

At my funeral I need someone to wear the same outfit I had on when I died burst through the doors and say, "okay, this is where it gets complicated,"

whisper.sh

"Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why stop there? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness."

Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why stop there? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness.

whisper.sh

"The Patriots Super Bowl rings are in!"

The Patriots Super Bowl rings are in!

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"You gotta marry someone you know you'd still be down to have sex with in the laundry room while the kids are downstairs watching Lion King and 10 minutes left till the dinosaur nuggets come out of the oven."

You gotta marry someone you know you'd still be down to have sex with in the laundry room while the kids are downstairs watching Lion King and 10 minutes left till the dinosaur nuggets come out of the oven.

whisper.sh

"I walk around with a Starbucks cup filled with red wine and ice but nobody looks twice because it looks like passion tea."

I walk around with a Starbucks cup filled with red wine and ice but nobody looks twice because it looks like passion tea.

whisper.sh

"Kanye be like "I didn't watch the Mayweather/Pacquiao fight, but Beyoncé should have won""

Kanye be like "I didn't watch the Mayweather/Pacquiao fight, but Beyoncé should have won"

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"When you see someone wearing camouflage, be sure to walk into them so they know it's working."

Connecting to the iTunes Store.

128690.api-04.com

"I'm so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign. And we played tic-tac-toe on that shit. "

I'm so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign. And we played tic-tac-toe on that shit.

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"Mean Girls came out 11 years ago and it's still the most relevant thing I've ever seen."

Mean Girls came out 11 years ago and it's still the most relevant thing I've ever seen.

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""I'd buy it if it was in black" -Ancient Proverb"

"I'd buy it if it was in black" -Ancient Proverb

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"Do you ever feel yourself being annoying but you can't stop?"

Do you ever feel yourself being annoying but you can't stop?

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"I'm sorry I can't hang out tonight I'm doing absolutely nothing by myself"

I'm sorry I can't hang out tonight I'm doing absolutely nothing by myself

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"I don't care about Disney lying about my Prince Charming. I'm more upset about forest creatures and their unwillingness to clean my house."

I don't care about Disney lying about my Prince Charming. I'm more upset about forest creatures and their unwillingness to clean my house.

whisper.sh

"Flynn Rider The only Disney character to ever question why everybody is randomly singing."

Flynn Rider The only Disney character to ever question why everybody is randomly singing.

whisper.sh
  • Hannah Blair
    Hannah Blair

    Robert in enchanted...

  • Hannah Sutton
    Hannah Sutton

    Exactly. Robert. In enchanted. Plus he came first... I can believe you don't remember Robert...

  • Hannah Blair
    Hannah Blair

    Such a great movie. He makes me laugh so hard in the "she's your love" scene.

"Disney Teaching you not to talk to strangers unless they're hot."

Disney Teaching you not to talk to strangers unless they're hot.

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