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    Funny Whispers

    Funny confessions, thoughts and quotes found on Whisper


    Funny Whispers

    • 1.2k Pins

    Checked my bank account just realized I have enough to live comfortably for the rest of my life, assuming I die on Tuesday

    Checked my bank account just realized I have enough to live comfortably for the rest of my life, assuming I die on Tuesday

    whisper.sh

    Relationship goals: Be in a relationship

    Relationship goals: Be in a relationship

    whisper.sh

    Your password must contain One capital letter A number 8 characters A virgin sacrifice And the blood of a unicorn

    Your password must contain One capital letter A number 8 characters A virgin sacrifice And the blood of a unicorn

    whisper.sh

    I just saw a BF open the door for his girl and slap her ass. That's the kinda positivity I need in my life

    I just saw a BF open the door for his girl and slap her ass. That's the kinda positivity I need in my life

    whisper.sh

    I get drunk off that old book smell in the library. Hammered? Nah, son. #Grammared

    I get drunk off that old book smell in the library. Hammered? Nah, son. #Grammared

    whisper.sh

    My parents fucking lied Talking to strangers on the Internet was the best decision of my life

    My parents fucking lied Talking to strangers on the Internet was the best decision of my life

    whisper.sh

    Opinions are like ORGASMS. Mine matters I don't really care if you have one

    Opinions are like ORGASMS. Mine matters I don't really care if you have one

    whisper.sh

    I don't need a Valentine. I need 8 million dollars and a fast metabolism.

    I don't need a Valentine. I need 8 million dollars and a fast metabolism.

    whisper.sh

    I am very sorry if my swearing upsets you, I will do my best to break the habit. Okay fuckers?

    I am very sorry if my swearing upsets you, I will do my best to break the habit. Okay fuckers?

    whisper.sh

    I know I swear a lot. 1. I am very sorry 2. I'll try to be good 3. 1 & 2 are lies 4. You can fuck off

    I know I swear a lot. 1. I am very sorry 2. I'll try to be good 3. 1 & 2 are lies 4. You can fuck off

    whisper.sh

    I was cleaning my room and found these. I only bought 1 pair. What the heck.

    I was cleaning my room and found these. I only bought 1 pair. What the heck.

    whisper.sh

    Just changed my Facebook name to "No one" so when I see stupid posts I can click like and it will say "No one likes this"

    Just changed my Facebook name to "No one" so when I see stupid posts I can click like and it will say "No one likes this"

    whisper.sh

    I have a bumper sticker that says "Honk if you think I'm attractive!" So I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself

    I have a bumper sticker that says "Honk if you think I'm attractive!" So I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself

    whisper.sh

    One time I put a banana peel on the ground and walked on it just to see if I would actually fall and yes it does work so don't try it

    One time I put a banana peel on the ground and walked on it just to see if I would actually fall and yes it does work so don't try it

    whisper.sh

    Son : "What does gay mean? " Dad : "When you're happy" Son : "Are you gay" Dad : "No. I'm married to your mom."

    Son : "What does gay mean? " Dad : "When you're happy" Son : "Are you gay" Dad : "No. I'm married to your mom."

    whisper.sh

    Neighbors thought they were being watched by the government, so my brother named his wifi "Surveillance unit 7"

    Neighbors thought they were being watched by the government, so my brother named his wifi "Surveillance unit 7"

    whisper.sh

    Are you olive oil? No? Then your virginity doesn't increase your quality

    Are you olive oil? No? Then your virginity doesn't increase your quality

    whisper.sh

    The other day in the train Girl: *sneezes* Me: bless you! Girl: I have a boyfriend A few rows behind us: "I'm a vegan."

    The other day in the train Girl: *sneezes* Me: bless you! Girl: I have a boyfriend A few rows behind us: "I'm a vegan."

    whisper.sh

    I hate taking off my glasses because my eyes go from 1080p full HD to buffering at 240p and I just cannot handle that

    I hate taking off my glasses because my eyes go from 1080p full HD to buffering at 240p and I just cannot handle that

    whisper.sh

    My life goals are to graduate school, get an apartment, and become a velociraptor

    My life goals are to graduate school, get an apartment, and become a velociraptor

    whisper.sh

    My phone's subtly telling me im too ugly. T.T

    My phone's subtly telling me im too ugly. T.T

    whisper.sh

    ALL SINGLES: Who's up for going to see a movie as a group on valentines day and throw popcorn at all the super PDA couples?

    ALL SINGLES: Who's up for going to see a movie as a group on valentines day and throw popcorn at all the super PDA couples?

    whisper.sh

    I'm nerdy enough for people who aren't nerds to say I'm a nerd but not nerdy enough for the nerds.

    I'm nerdy enough for people who aren't nerds to say I'm a nerd but not nerdy enough for the nerds.

    whisper.sh

    She dumped me because I kept quoting song lyrics. But in the end, it doesn't even matter.

    She dumped me because I kept quoting song lyrics. But in the end, it doesn't even matter.

    whisper.sh

    So does NOT mean eggplant. Lesson learned.

    So does NOT mean eggplant. Lesson learned.

    whisper.sh