It's ok to be ugly because in the Aztec culture the beautiful ones were thrown into a volcano as a sacrifice to the godsMore
Just ordered a pizza and the guy asked for my security card number. I said 666 There was a pause then I heard him whisper. "Guys Satan is trying to order a pizza, what do i do?"More
I'm pregnant. This morning I told my husband to put the Oreos somewhere I couldn't reach them... ..he put them on the floorMore
Google Earth gives you the opportunity to go and see anywhere in the world… so what do you do? You go and look at your house.
If I see a clown I'm going up and hugging it. You gotta fight creepy with creepy. And there ain't nothing creepier than a crazy bi-polar chick who likes to hug horror things.
my grandma shared a pic of 'Jesus' on her facebook. it was Obi Wan Kenobi.More
I was sad, and my crush said I looked like a turtle when I was sad, so he drew me as a turtle... This is the most accurate drawing of myself I've ever seenMore
People: "This party was great. You should've been here" Me: You didn't invite me. My life in a nutshell.More
My Summer bikini body wasn't ready but my Autumn sweater body is on point.
You call them swear words I call them sentence enhancersMore