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Funny Whispers

Funny confessions, thoughts and quotes found on Whisper


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Funny Whispers

Funny Whispers

  • 524 Pins

"Fuck working out to get "skinny". I'll settle for working out to get strong enough to kick anyone's ass that wants to make fun of me for being chubby."

"My milkshake once brought all the boys to the yard. Now it seems they are lactose intolerant."

"Stalks someone on social media and likes photo from 2009 *deletes account* *sets computer on fire* *leaves the country*"

"It all makes sense now. Gay marriage & marijuana being legalized on the same day. Leviticus 20:13- "if a man lays with another man he should be stoned." We've just been interpreting it wrong all these years."

"If your name is on one of these I just wanna let you know your parents are basic bitches with no creativity"

If your name is on one of these I just wanna let you know your parents are basic bitches with no creativity

whisper.sh

"I've got 99 problems and a longer weekend could solve 98 of them."

White leather tote bag - leather tote bags - White tote bags - White leather bag - leather shoulder bag - white leather handbag

whisper.sh

"People from the U.S. Threatening to move to Canada because of legalization of gay marriage. Do you think we should tell them?"

  • Samantha Gaytan
    Samantha Gaytan

    Tell them to leave

"GUYS! I DID IT, I FINALLY CAME OUT TODAY..Of my house, where I had been for three days, watching Netflix and eating pizza, pant-less in bed."

GUYS! I DID IT, I FINALLY CAME OUT TODAY.. Of my house, where I had been for three days, watching Netflix and eating pizza, pant-less in bed.

whisper.sh

"I have the body of a god Unfortunately it's Buddha"

"My news feed looks like a battle broke out between the confederates and a skittles factory."

"This girl used the periodic table to have the most gangster yearbook quote ever"

"Finally Kanye can legally marry the only person he loves!"

"When I checked Facebook this morning"

"I'm going to open a restaurant called "Peace and Quiet" where kids meals cost $150."

"I hate it when I'm on the treadmill and accidentally hit the stop button and go to Chipotle and eat a burrito."

I hate it when I'm on the treadmill and accidentally hit the stop button and go to Chipotle and eat a burrito.

whisper.sh

"People: How come you have no friends, you're beautiful?! Me: I'm rude, fuck off "

"My daughter is only 6 months old and already drawing. I'd hang it on the fridge but honestly, it's absolute garbage."

"Rihanna can wear a completely see through dress but when I do it its "a waste of plastic wrap" and "ruining Father's Day, Daniel""

Rihanna can wear a completely see through dress but when I do it its "a waste of plastic wrap" and "ruining Father's Day, Daniel"

whisper.sh

"My boyfriend finds it hot when I speak French in bed but he doesn't understand a single word of it. Yesterday I gave him directions to the library while he was inside me."

My boyfriend finds it hot when I speak French in bed but he doesn't understand a single word of it. Yesterday I gave him directions to the library while he was inside me.

whisper.sh
  • Colleen L
    Colleen L

    Lmao!!!

"Watching my daughter at the park earlier. Another parent asked "Which one's yours?" Just for fun I said "I'm still choosing." She looked horrified."

Watching my daughter at the park earlier. Another parent asked "Which one's yours?" Just for fun I said "I'm still choosing." She looked horrified.

whisper.sh

"I went to the store with my grandma and saw crop tops. She straight up said "is the economy so bad we can't make whole shirts?""

I went to the store with my grandma and saw crop tops. She straight up said "is the economy so bad we can't make whole shirts?"

whisper.sh

"9 years ago I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date, today I asked her to marry me. She said no both times."

"My mind says Victoria's Secret Model, but my heart says Nutella and Pizza."

My mind says Victoria's Secret Model, but my heart says Nutella and Pizza.

whisper.sh

"If my husband doesn't cry when I'm coming down the aisle, I'mma turn my ass around and walk in again, because OBVIOUSLY that fool didn't see me"

"How to ask a girl out: 1. Approach girl 2. Wait slow down 3. um you passed her 4. That's a vending machine 5. Ok Doritos are good too"